Real Life Kuroshitsuji
by DigiPokeNinjaDragon Fangirl
Summary: Digi (Me) and Alli were planning to enjoy our six months without parents or siblings, when characters from Kuroshitsuji end up in my house. I knew this vacation would be AWESOME! Warning: some yaoi. no lemons. Sebastian/oc Undertaker/oc Will/Grell Ciel/Elizabeth possible Finny/MayRin and Agni/Soma. all ocs are female
1. What's Wrong with the TV?

**Digi: Due to some problems, I am currently unable to work on my other story, ****A Young Dragon's Friendship, A Teen Dragon's Love****, so I will instead be working on this story until I can.**

**Alli: I'll be starring in this fic.**

**Digi: Yep, my BFF Allikkukitty is starring in this fic with me. You heard right, I'm in this fic. Can someone please do the disclaimer?**

**Undertaker: I'll say it, *giggle* for the right payment *nightmare inducing grin***

**Digi: *Psycho grin* No problem. *Whispers in Undertaker's ear***

**Undertaker: … HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DigiPokeNinjaDragon Fangirl doesn't own Kuroshitsuji, or anything except herself, her thought process, a computer, and this fic. *Giggling***

**Chapter 1 **

**What's wrong with the TV?**

There was once a perfect girl, with a perfect life, and perfect friends, and a perfect boyfriend, and a perfect family, who never messed up or failed. That girl is **definitely **_**not**_ me. I am Digi, and this has nothing to do with Ms. Perfect. This is the story of the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me or my BFF, Alli.

A little background about us. We're both 16 (in this fic), have dirty blond hair (in most fics), have blue eyes (in most fics), and could pass ourselves off as sisters if we felt like it. We both **love** anime, cats and hanging out. We each have an anime crush for various animes. In Kuroshitsuji, Alli's crush is, like most Kuroshitsuji fangirls, the hot demon butler himself, Sebastian. I, however, prefer to stick to the unconventional weirdos, like Undertaker. I'm also the hentai in my circle of friends, and a yaoi fangirl. Also, our parents and Alli's siblings just left the two of us home alone this for a six month cruise. This will be **AWESOME!**

I'm already fantasizing about the anime marathons, the all nigh fanfic reading, the joking around! This'll be **AWESOME!**

**(No POV)**

*Knock-Knock* "Coming!" Digi shouted as she shot up of the chair, tripped, and face-planted on the floor. "Ow." she moaned as she picked herself up off the floor. She raced to the front door and yanked it open before glomping the girl on the other side. "Alli!" she shouted gleefully before nuzzling the girl she was hugging. "Hi Digi!" Alli greeted before hugging back, "you ready for the Black Butler marathon?" "I was born ready, Alli," was the reply.

(3 hours later)

"We all set?" Digi asked. "All set Digi," Alli said. "To the flippin couch bitch!" Digi shouted, pointing towards the couch in a dramatic fashion.

They sat on the couch, and started the TV. The excitement shined in their eyes. The opening theme started, and then, the TV froze up.

What's wrong with the TV?" Digi whined. The TV started to glow. "Ooh, shiny," Digi said, "must poke." She then did just that. There was a flash and everything went dark.

"Ow." Digi and Alli moaned as they came to, "Alli look!" Digi shouted with a psychotic grin on her face, as she pointed at a bunch of unconscious people.

Those were people both girls easily recognized. Sebastian, Grell, Will, Ciel, Elizabeth, Finian, MayRin, Bard, Agni, Pluto, Tanaka, Prince Soma, and Undertaker from the anime they were just about to watch.

"I knew this would be frickin **AWESOME!**" Digi shouted, before smiling a psychotic grin, twitching, and laughing like a psychopath.

**Alli: Please review!**

**Digi: All flames will be used to fuel Angela/Ash in his/her/its destruction of humanity! *Psycho grin, twitch, and psycho laugh***


	2. Screwing With People's Heads Is Fun!

**Digi: I'm full of ideas for this story and am ready for chapter 2. Of course, we'll need to do the disclaimer first. Grell? I'll even show you this for it. *Shows Grell an explicit M-Rated yaoi lemon about himself and Will***

**Grell: *Drooling with a heavy nosebleed and daydreaming expression and voice* DigiPokeNinjaDragon Fangirl owns nothing except herself, her computer, her mind, and this story.**

_**Last time…**_

"_Ow." Digi and Alli moaned as they came to, "Alli look!" Digi shouted with a psychotic grin on her face, as she pointed at a bunch of unconscious people._

_Those were people both girls easily recognized. Sebastian, Grell, Will, Ciel, Elizabeth, Finian, MayRin, Bard, Agni, Pluto, Tanaka, Prince Soma, and Undertaker from the anime they were just about to watch._

"_I knew this would be frickin __**AWESOME!**__" Digi shouted, before smiling a psychotic grin, twitching, and laughing like a psychopath._

_**Now…**_

**Chapter 2**

**Screwing With People's Heads Is Fun!**

Digi, still psychotically grinning, noticed something. "Look Alli! I think they're waking up!" she said enthusiastically, while pointing at the Ciel, who was indeed waking up. A light bulb went off in Digi's head and her smile got even more disturbing. She rushed over to Alli and whispered something in her ear, before rushing off to get her plastic pirate sword from her room, as Alli started searching for something on her PSP. Digi raced back to the living room and they both shouted "Got it!"

Ciel moaned, before blinking open his mismatched eyes. What he saw was a psychotically grinning blonde girl with glasses and a sword. He reacted the same way anyone would in this situation; he yelped and jumped up, thus waking everyone else up who also saw the same thing.

The anime characters suddenly got confused, when they heard creepy music come from the psycho girl as she opened her mouth. She then started singing around them while swinging the sword and singing:

"_There's a building hidden in the dark_

_Long abandoned in which no one talks_

_Down the hall into the farthest room_

_Children gather in this ghostly tomb_

_And smile, for they were waiting here_

_Especially just to play with you_

_All the happy faces, such happy faces_

_They know you'll join them soon_

_Circle you circle you_

_Stay with us and play forever_

_Circle you circle you_

_Close the door and leave us never_

'_Til we see the rising sun_

_This is only the beginning_

_Circle you circle you_

_Aren't we having lots of fun?_"

By this point, Sebastian was protectively holding a shaking Ciel, who was hugging a terrified Elizabeth. Pluto was whimpering in fetal position. Grell was hugging an uncomfortable Will. Finian, MeyRin, and Bard were hugging each other in terror. Tanaka was sitting there, doing what he normally does. Agni was protectively hugging a terrified Prince Soma. Undertaker was giggling. Then, the song continued.

"_There's a home within the forest clear_

_Hiding secrets that no one can hear_

_Shred the broken body from the mind _

_Immortality through death's design_

_While laughter and the children's hands_

_They come together in the room_

"_It is time", they said "Close your eyes", they said_

"_And we'll all play circle you"_

"_Circle you circle you_

_Can you feel time creeping closer?_

_Circle you circle you_

_I'm so sorry, your turn's over_

'_Til we see the rising sun_

_They take heads from off our shoulders_

_Circle you circle you_

_Aren't we having lots of fun?_"

Elizabeth was now crying into Ciel's shirt. Finian and MeyRin were also crying. Prince Soma was shivering uncontrollably. Tanaka was included in the May-Rin, Finian, and Bard's hug. Grell was shaking. The song continued.

"_Your skull, it may be fractured and_

_Your arms are severed to the bone_

_The children undying, they smile through they're crying_

_In a game that never ends_

"_Circle you circle you_

_You can't run, so stay awhile_

_Circle you circle you_

_They won't hear your screams for miles_

_Let's play 'til the morning light_

_Play until they come to get us_

_Circle you circle you_

_We'll have fun tonight_"

The girl then stopped, turned towards them, tilted her head, twitched, then laughed psychotically, before swinging her sword at Sebastian. Everyone except Undertaker, who was giggling, Sebastian, who calmly caught the sword, and Agni, who was trying to keep his master calm, screamed, and a few *cough*Grell*cough* wet their pants. Sebastian then proceeded to break the plastic sword in half.

The girl then snickered, before laughing giggling uncontrollably. Then the characters heard more laughter, and looked to see a much less scary/crazy/psycho blonde, who also wore glasses. Undertaker then laughed his own groundshaking laugh. The first girl managed to say between giggles; "The *giggle* looks on their *giggle* faces! Nothin like screwing with the heads of people from the 1800's of another dimension, huh Alli?" Alli replied, "That was pretty funny, Digi."

"I demand to know what is going on!" Ciel shouted at the two girls, while blushing from the embarrassment of what had just occurred. "Maybe later Shorty." was the response he got from Digi. "Do you know who I am? I am the Earl Phantomhive, and I demand to know what is going on!" he shouted at her. "Hmm. Nope," she replied.

"Sebastian, I order you to make her tell me!" "Yes, my lord," Sebastian said.

Next thing Digi knew, she had a demon butler in her face. He leaned forward, and whispered seductively, "Tell me what's going on, and you'll get a reward." She pondered it for a moment before answering, "Sorry, but no. I don't do lust, and I plan on keeping my virginity."

Next thing she knew, a fork was being held to her neck. "Okay, okay, I'll talk! Please put the eating utensils away!" Sebastian and Ciel smirked.

**Alli: Please review!**

**Digi: All flames will be used to fuel Angela/Ash in his/her/its destruction of humanity! *Psycho grin, twitch, and psycho laugh***


	3. Crazies and Confusion!

**Digi: Well, looks like chapter three's here. Sorry it took so long, but my mind is wild and uncontrollable, so picking what I should use for the chapter out of my brain took awhile. Now, let's get started!**

**Disclaimer: Me only own me. Alli owns Alli. People who own Kuroshitsuji own Kuroshitsuji. People who own things other than me and Alli own things other than me and Alli.**

_**Last time…**_

"_I demand to know what is going on!" Ciel shouted at the two girls, while blushing from the embarrassment of what had just occurred. "Maybe later Shorty." was the response he got from Digi. "Do you know who I am? I am the Earl Phantomhive, and I demand to know what is going on!" he shouted at her. "Hmm. Nope," she replied. _

"_Sebastian, I order you to make her tell me!" "Yes, my lord," Sebastian said._

_Next thing Digi knew, she had a demon butler in her face. He leaned forward, and whispered seductively, "Tell me what's going on, and you'll get a reward." She pondered it for a moment before answering, "Sorry, but no. I don't do lust, and I plan on keeping my virginity." _

_Next thing she knew, a fork was being held to her neck. "Okay, okay, I'll talk! Please put the eating utensils away!" Sebastian and Ciel smirked._

_**Now…**_

**Chapter 3**

**Crazies and Confusion!**

(Digi's POV)

I glanced around nervously, silently pleading for help as my BFF was staring in shock. They were all looking at me suspiciously, some glaring, obviously pissed about the Circle You gag I just pulled. _What should I tell them_, I thought to myself (Drocell reference intended)._ The truth is probably the best option. The demon can probably tell if I'm lying._

"Um, I don't really know what exactly is going on, but I can tell you where you are!" I stated, getting a bit scared when Sebby's eyes flashed pink, "You're in my house in [insert city, county, and state here] in the U.S.A., in North America, in the northern and western hemispheres, on the planet Earth, in an unnamed solar system, in the Milky Way galaxy, in an unnamed cluster of galaxies, in an unnamed universe, in what I think is another dimension, in the year 2013!" I finished with a big smile and my eyes closed. I relaxed a little and opened my eyes when I felt the metal fork left my neck.

"2013?" "Another dimension?" "U.S.A?" The anime characters were obviously confused, so I decided to help them.

"Yep, here you're nothing but characters in an anime, watched for the entertainment of teens and adults." I said, grinning again.

"Anime?" "Teens?" "Watched?" Again with questions. I keep forgetting they're from the 1800's.

"An anime is a Japanese animated cartoon, teen is short for teenager, which means someone between the ages of 13 and 18 years old, and people watch you on TV." another smile.

"Japanese?" "Cartoon?" "TV?" *sigh* "This may take awhile."

(3 hours later)

"We're characters, watched by people for entertainment, from a world that doesn't really exist." Ciel said, finally getting it.

"Yep!" I said grinning really big, "You people finally understand!"

"I don't believe a word of this." Will, the killjoy, said. _Damn. They don't believe me! Now what?_

My savior came in the form of Alli, who had already thought of something. "I can prove it! Look behind you!" she said, before pressing play.

The first Kuroshitsuji theme song, _Monochrome Kiss_, started playing. The anime characters stared in shock as episode 1 came on.

(25 minutes later)

They just stared in shock at what they had seen.

_I wanna poke one of 'em with a stick_, I thought, covering my mouth to hide my grin and snickering. So, I poked Undertaker in the face with a stick. He snapped out of it, obviously startled, before resuming his 'normal' look.

"Hehehe. Why did you poke me with a stick little girl." "I was bored, and these-" I gripped my D-cups, "-say I'm not that little." I replied with a smirk.

Then, I noticed Alli staring at Sebastian, so me, being me, decided to say quite loudly, "Alli, you better not be thinking about losing your virginity!" That snapped everyone out of it, and I busted out laughing. "Digi!" she yelled, obviously flustered.

I then looked around and did the psycho grin, twitch, and psycho laugh routine.

"W-what are you?" asked Prince Soma.

"Well, judging by these-" I gripped my D-cups again, "-and my lack any male reproductive organs, I'd say I'm a girl." I said, smiling.

"Hi!" I jumped up and down waving repeatedly, like a little kid, because I just now realized me and Alli never properly introduced ourselves, "I'm Digi and she's Alli!"

**Alli: Please review!**

**Digi: All flames will be used to fuel Angela/Ash in his/her/its destruction of humanity! *Psycho grin, twitch, and psycho laugh***


	4. Living Arrangements and Kitties!

**Digi: This chapter will involve kitties! Yay kitties! Now for the disclaimer. Oh Agni! Be a dear and read this. (hands over lines)**

**Agni: Kuroshitsuji, its characters, or the … purple space unicorns?**

_**Last time…**_

_I then looked around and did the psycho grin, twitch, and psycho laugh routine._

"_W-what are you?" asked Prince Soma._

"_Well, judging by these-" I gripped my D-cups again, "-and my lack any male reproductive organs, I'd say I'm a girl." I said, smiling._

"_Hi!" I jumped up and down waving repeatedly, like a little kid, because I just now realized me and Alli never properly introduced ourselves, "I'm Digi and she's Alli!"_

_**Now…**_

**Chapter 4**

**Living Arrangements and Kitties!**

(No POV)

Digi stared at them in a disturbing fashion, before telling everyone something important; "I've figured out the living arrangements!"

Ciel then said, "Why should we listen to you or stay here?"

"'Cause, this is the 21st century, and there are lots of things you don't know here. Not to mention the fangirls," was the reply.

"Fangirls?" Soma asked.

"Yup, since you're from an anime, you each have tons of fangirls who will probably kidnap you, rape you, and find various ways to violate and/or kill you!" came the cheerful answer. "Trust me, they will find out how, cause they are resourceful psychos that may or may not be armed with a variety of weapons."

The anime characters visibly paled, and Soma and Grell jumped into the arms of Agni and Will respectively, the latter dropping the gender-confused shinigami.

"Anyway," continued Digi, "Girls will stay at my house. Me and Alli can share my room, Grell, since you are a girl in all but anatomy, can take my parents' room, and Elizabeth and MeyRin can take the couch and this comfy chair." She stated, sitting back in the chair.

A cat, a calico American shorthair to be exact, promptly jumped onto her lap and started nuzzling and kneading (**Digi**: the proper term is smurggling, I learned it on My Cat From Hell) her. Digi immediately started petting and nuzzling the cat, and Sebastian and Alli immediately started fawning over it. Everyone else was staring at these actions in disbelief.

Digi suddenly realized that almost everyone was staring at her. "This is my kitty, Princess!" She said enthusiastically, "There should also be a black cat, named Galadis, and a really old long-haired cat named Ragtine, a mixed-breed dog named Ginger, and a dog, a pug, named Toby around somewhere!"

"Anyway, everyone else will be staying at Alli's place, but don't go in her room, there are things such as her and her sister's underpants and bras lying around in there, as well as a toilet!" she said, giggling as Alli glared and protested to the revelation of such private info. "Alli will take you to her place. I can't cause I've got a cat on my lap. Hey, that almost rhymed!"

Alli reluctantly started leading the anime characters to her own house, after the boys managed to get Sebastian away from Princess.

_**Alli: Please review!**

**Digi: All flames will be used to fuel Angela/Ash in his/her/its destruction of humanity! *Psycho grin, twitch, and psycho laugh***


	5. Truth or Dare and Pairings!

**Digi: I'm tired of disclaimers. I own nothing but story, and my character.**

_**Last time…**_

"_Anyway," continued Digi, "Girls will stay at my house. Me and Alli can share my room, Grell, since you are a girl in all but anatomy, can take my parents' room, and Elizabeth and MeyRin can take the couch and this comfy chair." She stated, sitting back in the chair._

"_Anyway, everyone else will be staying at Alli's place, but don't go in her room, there are things such as her and her sister's underpants and bras lying around in there, as well as a toilet!" she said, giggling as Alli glared and protested to the revelation of such private info. "Alli will take you to her place. I can't cause I've got a cat on my lap. Hey, that almost rhymed!"_

_Alli reluctantly started leading the anime characters to her own house, after the boys managed to get Sebastian away from Princess._

_**Now…**_

**Chapter 5**

**Truth or Dare, and Pairings!**

(No POV)

"So… let's play truth or dare!" Digi shouted at the other girls. It was night now, a couple hours after everyone had been shown around and settled in a bit.

"What's truth or dare?" MeyRin asked.

_**One Explanation and Alli Convincing the Girls to Play Later…**_

"I'll start," Digi started, "Grell, truth or dare?" "Dare," Grell replied. "I dare you to give Will a surprise make-out session, with tongue." Digi said with a knowing smirk.

"WHAT!" Grell shouted, "He'll kill me!" "Not if you can get away fast enough," Digi said.

Alli and Digi were watching Grell to make sure he went through with the dare.

Grell, silently crept up behind Will, who was standing in Alli's back yard, deep in thought. He quickly grabbed Will, spun him around, and kissed him, forced his tongue into Will's mouth, while Will stood there in shock. Grell, now sporting a deep blush, ran off. As Alli left, Digi was the only one who noticed Will blushing lightly, gently touching his lips.

"MeyRin, truth or dare?" Grell asked. "Truth." MeyRin answered. "Who are you in love with?" Grell asked.

MeyRin blushed and stuttered before answering, "F-Finny."

"Alli, truth or dare?" "Dare." "I dare you to h-hug S-Sebastian."

Alli was sneaking up on Sebby, who was reading a book in a chair, using the epic stealth skills she and Digi learned from anime, manga, and games. She, while blushing, suddenly pounced on him, hugged, and darted off, leaving a surprised/shocked Sebby behind.

(37 minutes later)

"Digi, truth or dare?" asked Grell. "Dare me sucka!" "I dare you to look at Undertaker's eyes and kiss him on the lips!" "Aww. There goes my first kiss," Digi said sadly.

Undertaker was staring at Alli's dogs, who were staring back, when Digi ran up to him, and lifted up his bangs. Then she kissed him, while hugging his neck, and staring into his eyes, and blushing like a maniac. Then she ran off, still blushing, leaving a blushing Undertaker to comprehend the his first kiss.

"Alli, truth or dare?" Digi asked. "Dare." "I dare you to *whisper* ok."

Digi hid as Alli walked up to Agni, taking note of both his and Soma's reactions. Alli hugged Agni from behind whispered, so that Soma couldn't hear. "I know about your feelings for Prince Soma, Agni." He instantly blushed and stuttered before finally managed to say, "H-how do you n-know about th-that?" Alli just smirked before saying "I can't tell you." before walking off.

Soma, meanwhile, had been glaring daggers at Alli the whole time.

"Well, I'm tired, goodnight," Digi said, as soon as she and Alli got back. The dares had helped her figure out who she would be setting up as couples.

_**Alli: Please review!**

**Digi: All flames will be used to fuel Angela/Ash in his/her/its destruction of humanity! *Psycho grin, twitch, and psycho laugh***


End file.
